One Promise.

I rarely promise anything. I piranhas many things, but you have to say it out loud to get it.

I am a very blessed individual. I do not need any one to remind me of all I have been given, from my upper middle class family, to my education, to having all ten fingers, and all ten toes. I live in the greatest country on earth, breath the cleanest air, and drink the purest water. I have been blessed with understanding, a quick enough wit, and the ability to rise to most any occasion. I have so much potential, I can see so much opportunity, and yet I work in a gas station. I am wasting the only days of life I will ever get working in a gas station. They treat me like a criminal. They insult me with their policies. And they pay me a hair more than minimum wage.

The risks evolved in this job are as personal as the insults, but I have made a promise. Do not endanger the house. Do nothing that would even potentially risk our lives here. For it is more than my life here, it is Tyler’s as well. For this reason, I bite my tongue. For this reason, I let the blood flow back and down my throat. I only hint at job dissatisfaction, and do all the stupid tasks they ask.

I see my coworkers, and I start to understand a good many things about the human condition. They have jobs, so why look for one? It would be too hard to look for something when you already have a job anyways. They are happy being trapped in those holes, unwilling it seems, to look up and see the light obscured. The guy I worked with today has not received a raise in the four plus months he has worked for Domo, and he is afraid to ask for one. Trapped in your hole, tossed scraps of bread, but if it was not for our charity, you would be dead! They are, as it stands, short staffed. They want me to work sixteen hours tomorrow. I laughed heartily. They need more employees. They need me.

Thus my plan is, (after receiving approval from Tyler of course,) to lay it all on the line.

Hey, ahh, I have a proposal I know you are going to hate. I mean, even right now as I say this I know you are going to hate it, and I almost feel bad, but then I think about it and I don’t. I want a raise to eight fifty, but I want it to be a retro active raise, so that is as if I have been paid eight fifty from the start. I want a bonus that is going to cover any of those mistakes you say I’ve made, and I want you to tell me I can have all these things before the end of Monday, or I won’t be back for work on Tuesday.

I know you can’t do that, so go ask some one who can. I’m still on probation right? I don’t need a reference. If you decide I am not worth it, so be it.

The reasons. Eight fifty! How can Sean sell himself for eight fifty? Well because I do not plan on being there too much longer and it is a number I think they will say yes too. If I can get a retroactive raise it will have made it all the more worth while, and hold me over until I get my loan.

Ah I love Vanessa! I just got her message and she gave me fatties number. She also told me to call her back and talk about glass. The local head shop would not give me fatties number because they are all paranoid and think I am out to ruin their business. Funny how our fears manifest themselves simply because we fear them. As it is now my personal mission to destroy city haul. Dun dun dun. Feeling good about the future, I think it is going to be alright. Feeling good about the future, the beams of success are breaking through the night.

The more I think about it, the more I think I can. The more I think about it, the more I Pakistan.

John and Chris

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You know what finally did it for me and Christianity? The day I realized I was not the pinnacle of all creation. I was not the sum of all things manifested in the likeness of god. Weak and infected by disease, desire, greed. Mindless and blind. We are imperfect, unfinished. A creation so flawed, not even god could love. It was the realization of other options, multiple possibilities, and wisdom in the weakness.

Rogers Video at 420

Pembina and Stafford

Four twenty! What the hell? Do these people already know who I am?

Interview! Woot!

Uehen/Sean

He raped me in the chalet lines
I had just said no for the final time
Although it's last month it's like yesterday
I missed my time, I don't think I could stand
To take the test, I'm feeling sick
Fuck this, I've felt like this for a week
I'd put a knife right into his eyes
My friend can't see
She asks me why I don't
Tell the law
Oh what's the fucking point at all