Omens

I sit an think, or skate around and sing all the wonderful little anecdotal stories that come through my mind. Then here I arrive to the library at last but my rivers run dry. Perhaps it is the computer monitors that blocks my outflow of... Words. Or the time it takes to translate them to paper, or the realization that I never had the words translate it.

Box one of three arrived today. The other two boxes were sent to Saskatoon by mistake. Which is funny to me. Good thing I do not float my boat on omens. So everything should be at the art space by the three on Thursday, so that gives me tomorrow to get regulators, hoses, and fuel.

My biggest limiting factor will be colour. (and talent) At fifty dollars a colour, I made sure I got the tools I most needed before going after the rainbow. With nine colours, and two crates filled with clear glass I am hoping that I it will be enough of a start to, you know, get started.

Agua azul, twilight, snow white, garnet, evergreen, plum krazy, yellow, turbo cobalt, double amber purple. I forgot to get a black! Fuck.

Almost a year, it has been almost a year I have been trying to get this damn dirigible to float, and so long as the rods are not all broken in the case, it should be done this week. Blag. My head hurts.

I am still sick.

I do not remember being healthy.

I am going to leave.

Sean Gone
Uehen Taco

King of Lonely Throne

Lets see.

Okay, so everything seems to be coming into some kind of shape. I have a space all planned out, but I am not sure it will pan out. Amy's idea of art space is a big open space where artists come to dance. My idea is a hundred square foot room that no one else is allowed near. Frankly, I would rather not let any one know where my studio is. She seems to want to draw as much attention to the area as possible. So will it work out, I have my doubts but I continue. I could... well... hmm... I wonder if I could find an old industrial block to live in. I am moving out of my lovely one room fourth floor apartment, because as much as I can afford to live there, I do not want to have to work that much.

Instead I would like to find some ones walk in closet to rent, just to have a place to put my mattress. And I should get a dresser.

I am not seeing any one.

I tell you more, but I would rather keep with tradition.

So I am off to look for a place to live. Blessed is the library.

Uehen

Bull Hooves, Kangaroo Ears

So here I sit in the library annoyed to no end that I have not a single copy of my resume in my email account. I have but twenty two minutes left before my booking on a computer with a word processor comes to pass, but I have naught to do with the time I had requested. I have not the contact information to rewrite it, and it would be a little silly as I believe Tyler has a copy.

I started seeing someone.

Today I should have been at work, but my eyes have been bothering my greatly this last week. I will tell them tomorrow, some lie, to make it seem as if the whole day was needed to find if I was go to blind or not. The nice thing about working for Satan is that he does not really care, so long as you show up most of the time.

And even if you do not, they still take it. Because there is nothing they can do, they do not want to fire you, working in hell thought air conditioned is still hell.

And there is a labor shortage in Winnipeg.

I should get into contact with a few of my dads old friends and see if there is some kind of data entry position I could numb my mind with. Or something, anything. I do not think I have eaten today. I only have 9:54 minutes left, so forgive me if my thoughts are a little fragmented.

I am in four grand worth of debt. Which is not much when I look at some of my schooling friends. My eyes still hurt. The doctor says it will pass in a few weeks, but they hurt. It does not affect my vision, unless I try to read for a long time.

I have no bike, any more it was stolen, I mean I still have my blue bike, but I cannot lock that places. I hear tale of a community center where people donate bikes to, and people can come and build them from parts. They are only open Sundays, but I think I will have to check it out.

I will also be ending this now.

Uehen Sean

haste waste and what is between

I paid in advance for two hours.
I guess I could leave now and save it for next time,
But something in me would rather sit in the air conditioned recliner chair,
When companies are making keyboards and they decide to place a new buttons in places there have never been buttons before, do they think they are being innovative?
My new apartment is pretty sweet all in all. It makes me feel as if I live in a boat, as the floor sags in towards the center, in just that subtle way. The building itself is over a hundred years old now, and I live on the forth, and final floor. I am on eye level with the tops of the trees and have vantage over the rooftops for blocks and blocks. It is extremely hot in the all the time. With three people it gets to be a bit much. From time to time.
The monitor jumps every time another screen comes to life.
You know, it was a little hard to understand when other people would say they could not handle the Volcano, (to be referred to hereafter as Magma.) I did not really understand what happens to someone who abstains most days, allowing only the occasional deviation, I did not understand.
When you take away from smoking and then come back to it there is always that fastbreaker that really blows you away. When you go from sitting down with Magma and the Head of Project X four to seventeen times a day, to being dry, jumping back in takes time.
So Yoga ran out a little while ago, and I was broke so I just shrugged and did it at home, until it got too hot. Now I hear tale and tell of a new kind of yoga that does the body well, a hot room suite, and steam for the seams allows the stretching retching mass of flesh a better chance to bend and sway in the extraordinary way. They do it so hot that you sweat more than a lot, so I have got to sign up, and see what I got! Yoga in a steam room! Crazy.
So I was at work and some one noticed that I had twisted a ten dollar bill into a ring. I then showed them the twenty I turned into the tshirt and it was snapped from me, I did not ask for it back until I realize he was kind of ruining it, and when he refused, I relieved it from him by distracting him and then... well just grabbing it. He did not take kindly to this and started to give me shit. I just watched him blab on about bullshit, until he ran out of things to say, and I shook me head and looked away. He asked me later if I was annoyed, and I told him that I had just found it strange that he would disrespect me three times, when I had never even thought about biting my thumb at him.
This was all yesterday. So today he is trying to be nice, and sits beside me, trying to make small talk and be my friend. I told him, I did not have a problem with him, I did not know him, he did not know me, it is all cool, just do not expect me to be your friend. He did not desist. It is pathetic. Do not know why I felt like telling you this story, about another wanna be big shot, who never had it, and whose best years are gone.

I think he is younger than I am.

The first sign you are getting older is thinking your age gives you something over some one else. I know full and well that there are children half my age who could hand me my ass at any number of the things I consider myself to be fairly expert with. I know there are people twice my age whom do yoga moves I will never be able to pull off. That being said there are those of us who will have to count high school as their best years.

I am not dead yet but I am dying
Lord knows you know I am trying
But these trials there is no denying
Got faces in hand on knees crying.

This place is a wonderland.

Sean is here
Uehen in there

Bad Irish, No Potato

Daaaaaay off.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off.
Lied to my boss so I could get the day off.

It was at some point last night, after my bike was stolen, the apartment was a mess, and there was nothing to eat because all the stores close before my shift ends. It was coming to a head when I was stuck in the back of the hall closet, I was feeling blindly around the bottom of a box filled with an assortment of crap, vainly searching for one inch screws, when I start to feel a little frustrated. Then at the point where I thought I could not stand another second cramped in our over heated fourth floor apartment when like a light from the heavens, a light from the bottom of the box came. I froze in amazement, and with a slight movement of my hand it was gone. Then another movement and it came back, I pushed everything aside reach deep down to the bottom where I found it, Jesse’s old head lamp, that she had given to me so long ago. I saw that light, I found those screws, and I went back to putting the bed together, until the people downstairs complained. Breath in, breath out, relax.

Yoga is over until I start making regular money again, which should be right away as I am working two jobs. I was going to have this Friday off, but I decided that today would be a good time to take a cut into the week. Two days off in two weeks while moving houses seems unfair on those around me, and myself, so today is the day for bank/internt/phone/phatty and bla.

I got a pretty sweet job working at the Fort Gary Hotel, it is the only kosher kitchen in all of Manitoba, so if you are Jewish and in Manitoba, you come to the Fort Gary. We have five star Kosher dinners over seen by our own Rabbi. He is a pretty cool guy, during our training they told us, when in doubt as the Rabbi, and last Saturday I was working this huge wedding when one of the guests asked if there were nuts in the second layer of the cake. I took off running to the kitchen, to the bake kitchen, to the cooks room, to the store room, to the wine room, to the managers office, to the main floor lobby and still not a sign of any one who may have known what that cake is made out of, when I see the Rabbi, I run to him, “Rabbi, Rabbi, who will know what the second layer of the cake made of!” He looks down only for a moment before listing off, ”aaah, strawberries, chocolate, flour, carmel…” when I stop him by asking, “does it have nuts?”

Assume it has nuts.

Helpful fellow. Any of the other 50 people I asked could have told me that, but instead they shrug. I like it, because it allows me to speak with an uptight English accent, and call people Sir or Madam, pour wine, and clear empty cups. And eat the left over unserved food food. A function of doctors ordered forty bottles of wine, and drank three. Half of them ended up in the sink as they were pre poured, and we cannot drink on the job, but the twenty plates of little dainties were open season. The Jews have excellent taste in food. No pork anywhere!

I will not tell you about my other job in the unlikely event that I am suppose to be there right now.

I am not guided by a light,
or voices inside,
the forces that pull
in the time to time,
only offer direction
a rhythm or rhyme
so you have to pay attention
and learn on your time

the feelings that come, and the ways went below
from the ash on cedars and the telephone polls,
it is not the winter that makes me feel cold,
or stale desperation of the feelings untold,
it is the scares in my heart, my mind and my soul,
From the one night stands and the long walks home.

Needless, we say.

Uehen