Back to Basics or Blue Daulphins

And how this all got started.

I realize now how much work there is a head of me now.

With half the debt payed down it is time to really get things moving along. I am already in way over my head, but these weighted boots and lead belt will not hold me under.

It is time to get hard as fuck, not pussy out.

Grrr....

ahh yeah.

I saw a billboard on my way home. Ugly Betty, i believe it was for. A new tv show that is playing on some cable channel they were also advertizing. I looked at the picture of her braced face and glasses, and thought, I would do her. Ugly Betty? She is not fat, she does not have an abnormally shaped nose, she is not covered in acne. She is a pretty girl they gave braces and glasses, and will likely say all the right things just before each chortling of canned laughter.

You can get canned laughter but you cannot get weeping preserves.

And some one needs to develop a system that would tell me the New Pornographers are in town before the day after they left. How can I be expected to know whats going on while maintaing my anti social detachmentism. I need a unified internet site that would hub all venues, all bands, and all of everything. I need a system that i can tell what i like, and that will tell me when it is here. Or maybe before it gets here so i can get presale.

Sometimes i wish it was me.

Fridays opening of the gallery really caught me off guard. Perhaps everyone was caught a little off guard. With as many acts, in the three buildings, and every one involved in the, "I am kind of new to this," level of experaince, nothing really went wrong. And there is much to be said for that. There was lots of room for things to go wrong, and i am sure that it would have taken just one person to lose their head, or patiants, or wallet or something. It is not that i did not have faith, I believe this project is going to rock the casbar, but it just went perfectly.

The Fire Pixies were unbelieveable, I had seen some fire dancing before but not like this. Most of the fire dancing i had seen was some one with a stick on fire jumping around. This had eight people with sticks on fire jumping around to the beat of the drum kit. Wonderfully coryographed, and all volenteer.

Christian Worthington went almost the whole night before i relized it was he who painted these works on the wall. He looked too young to be painting so many pictures of jesus in pain. he himself looks a bit like the traditional white jesus himself. I liked his work muchly, but even if it did not cost five grand to aquire one of these paintings of his, i doubt i would hang it in my house. Not every one felt the same way though, and he did sell at least one that i know of.

A good chunk of my time was spent handing out welcome sheets to any one who came through the door, so i did not get to see everything that was going on, but the musical acts i did catch were pretty sweet. A little old asian woman playing massive drums and singing was but one of the highlights.

Every one seemed excited to hear i play with glass. Too excited. I tried to make it as clear as i could that i really do not know what i am doing, and they should not expect me to be able to teach them how to blow glass for a good long while. Every one has this idea that if you do something like this that you must be good at it, which is unfortunate and untrue. I put the hack in poser.

i did 'extasy' at a party last night... or this morning rather.
Amy knew right away. She is in many way the mom in my life,
i feel i let her down in the way that makes me feel pretty sick.

What is worth?
Did i have fun? Make new friends? Try something new? yes.

but would i have it all taken back to take that hint of accusation out of her eye? i likely would. I have had fun at raves with out drugs before, i could have done it now. But such is life.

I think working midnights for my short while at the gas station has given me a better understanding of time. It seems like i am better able to enjoy sitting on the bus, or wait for the come around of some things. it could be coming from the understanding of how days pass. I am better able to break down the hours, and how the cycles relate to when i want to be asleep as aposed to when i can be asleep.

Sometimes i think about what Winnipeg would look like if all the houses and roads were gone, and just lawns and trees.

sometimes i cannot think at all.

heh heh. there was left over fruit platter that made it back to Amys house, and the kids took it apart and hid the fruit all around the living room.

enough!

Sean