Pending disappointment

I am not tired, I am not horny, this episode of south park is going to take another life time to down load.

I have painted myself into a corner, there is no body home, and I am running low on paint. Am I at the point now where I am starting to panic. This could be one of those late night change your life or go crazy situations. I am just feeling blind hands out hoping for a place or space to fall. Low on fuel and orbits. ahgghg!!!!

Aghhh!!
Agggggggggh!!
Aghhhh!!!

*falls to the ground*

I do(nnot) really want to scream. There are children sleeping.

maybe I could go outside. But then I would have to put pants on.

Remember me? The curly haired kid from Saskatoon who moved to Winnipeg with aspirations of working with glass?

Well I have run into a few snags. Or maybe even a hundred. I stopped counting.

After months of set backs I finally have my torch, and kiln, and glass, and even a space to set it up. But now another cruel twist has me with no place to live. Working is hard and leaves me with so little. Winter here is cold, and I realize that I cannot just teach myself how to work with glass. The few teachers that were here have now all moved away. I am almost at my wits end and have had too much caffeine and still cannot sleep.

To float,

oh float,

capsized in my boat,
on the remote chance,
you would sail by
and offer a smile.

In arms long in reach,
to pull me out of the cold,
to teach, I beseech,
for a niche in your hair,

snuggled up tight,

I have not written anything decent in so long.
I watch and feel helpless, limp.
nothing to add to this world around me,
no insight to share,
I try to remember what, or who I was writing for.

back when I thought something of it.
what used to inspire my words.

I do not want to complain. It always sounds retarded.
cry about the past and fear the future!

the world makes me sick when I think of it, so I have been cutting it out of my life. It is hard to remember my moral high grounds, why it is better to be here than where I am needed. Or where I need.

elevated

It started so long ago, when watching television. I was not satisfied with it, so I left. Then the city too felt so flat and bland. Then food. I remember eating a chocolate bar and thinking how it brought me no joy, no satisfaction. My ribs are starting to show. Even my tea now tastes like nothing.

I went all of today with out feeling hungry, but eventually made myself eat something. nachos and cheese.

I have not smoked anything in so long, but feel stoned all the time.

drummed out dull, and dimming.

my chest pains ran the course, and left. Normally that would give me a few months before they would return to cripple me once again, but they are already back constricting my breathing. If it is stress related as the doctor suggests why do antacid make it feel better?

Enough!

Sean

We dug up the wrong body
we were so excited
no one checked the name
when we finally got down to it
she just was not the same
who is it now, who is this
the ring on her finger
fits on my pinkie
we took a few pictures
made it look like she was crawling from the grave