Exodus

My not so subtle campaign for the removal of my other room mate has begun.

With James giving the thumbs up to a move here next month, Tyler called a family meeting to discuses the future. Firstly, I have to clean the downstairs bathroom. Secondly we will be removing Ryan’s girl friend from her room. She said no. This came as a shock to me as I could not see any logical way that she could keep her room. She is behind on rent, and being only one third of the total population of this house she does not really have a leg to stand on. She behaved as any one who feels trapped would behaved, grasping desperately at every point she could think of trying to find some high ground. Being the only girl, needing more space, how she has been left out of all the decisions in the house, how she likes it with just the three of us. She failed to make any decent points with one small exception. She offered to pay more rent. Being behind on payments as she is I do not know how she would plan to compensate us for the eighty dollars each that we would be lost, but sure she can keep the biggest room if she starts paying four hundred and eighty dollars a month. Plus utilities.

I suggested she move out but she argued that her name is on the lease, that she has no where to go, and blab blab blab blab blab. I am fairly sure that having her name removed would be as easy as asking our landlord and I have already printed off some listings for other housing options for her. Tyler has already said that he does not want to play the good cop in this situation and would be more than happy to see her leave as well. You see, I do not liking living with people who lie to my face. I do not forgive easily, and I certainly do not forgive with out reason. She is not welcome here, and I plan on doing my best to remind her of that.

I wrote her a poem on the refrigerator with Tyler’s Shakespearian magnetic word set.

Naught Ladys Tale

Foul woman
Give me fortune
Seek nothing here whatsoever
Yield your curse and bestow mercy
How can thine lazy will ask above we?
Oft speaks in trifle vulgar
Vile poison is in her manner
See thee make haste please
Wench no friend shall you herein be
Never come ne’er more
Farewell

From
Villain

Not bad for such a limited selection of words. I thought signing it from villain would help add to the imagery I wanted to bring to her mind.

This campaign will be anything but subtle.

Tyler objects to my style. He would rather I not approach things from such a straight forward stance. He would prefer it if I did not declare myself against her, but that is just because Tyler is a big wuss and does not like to see people argue. I on the other hand seem to revel in the light of opposition, to take pleasure in having an opponent to overcome. He says I am tasteless in my tactics!

Oh look! She put the apartments for rent sheet under the keyboard so as to show me that she rejects my offering of another place to live. Well I will just have to print off five more pages and put it under her door so she sees it in the morning. Then I can get her work schedule and start booking her appointments for viewing new places to live. I can call rental companies and leave her name and cell phone number so that they call her back. I can turn off the water when she is having a shower.

She said she likes it her with just the three of us. Does my not liking her score as a counterpoint?

After the family meeting she went to clean the upstairs bathroom, (to showcase how useful she can be) myself and Tyler tried to sympathize with our adversary. He asked, “How would you have tried to keep your room?” I shrugged and said that I would have just tried going after his rooms as a trade. He then suggested that he would simply just stay in the room, and refuse to leave. This plan however, as I pointed out to him only lasts for as long as she does not go to work. If she has not moved out of her room by the time James gets here, we will be moving her out.

The biggest problem I face in removing this witch is that she is lazy. Like so many other blank minded bipeds that populate this planet she would rather live in suffering than change. She would rather work at a shit job than look for a new one. This is a problem as I will have to make things extremely uncomfortable for her before she even considers leaving. It has been suggested that my ignoring her completely, with out words or eye contact has resulted in her shutting herself away in her room this last month. This sadly will only hinder my progress. However that is not to say that I am above knocking on her door to inquire if she has started packing yet... over and over and over... until she indeed starts packing.

I sit in a position with nothing to lose.

I have only her will to break.

My path to victory is set on all sides.

Now only to absurdly do what needs to be done.

Until it is finished.

Uehen today Sean Tomorrow

Hey! They won't let me change the time anymore!